As a Type 9 in the Essential Enneagram, a Peacemaker, you are a receptive listener, supportive and good-natured, but you´re terrified with confrontation. You tend to be a people-pleaser.
Your biggest strengths are being attentive to others, empathy, supportiveness, accountability, steadfastness, and adaptability. You are accepting, receptive, and caring of others.
People often think of you as lazy, slow, unproductive, and lacking in leadership and effectiveness. In fact, as a Peacemaker, your inertia is simply toward yourself as you put your attention and energy into people´s opinions and agendas. You are often highly productive and an effective consensus leader, as well as thoughtful and giving.
As someone who believes that the world makes people unimportant, and thus requiring us to blend in, you need to realize that we are all unconditionally and equally loved (accepted and appreciated for who we are) and that our worth and well-being come from within.
In love, you need a partner who will encourage you to express your own opinion and position. To ask you what you want and what is good for you, and to give you time to figure out the answer. To support you when you act responsibly toward yourself. To allow you to acknowledge your anger. And to encourage you to set and keep your own boundaries, limits and priorities.
You are likely to get attracted to Type 6 personality, the Loyal Skeptic. A Loyalist is playful, inventive, enjoyable and upbeat. He has high energy. He´s optimistic, enthusiastic, and helpful. He has a big love of life, vision and imagination.
However, as you search for your life partner, remember that „the success of a relationship relies more on both partners` level of self-awareness and their ability to love and accept love through their specific love language“.
Therefore, type compatibility is more about having similar levels of self awareness than it is about personality type.
From the almost two-thousand women who took my What Type of Girlfriend Are You Quiz, 7.8% of them are Peacemakers. It´s not the least-numbered personality type in the Enneagram, but also not the most. At least according to my data, there´s a significant number of women who are Peacemakers.
Peacemakers are known for beingfriendly, flexible and able to quickly adapt wherever they go. They very rarely get involved in fights and arguments. They are the nice girls. Wherever they go, there is peace.
What shaped your peace-loving nature?
Each of us developed one of the nine patterns to protect a specific aspect of the self that was threatened as our personality was developing (Daniels & Price, 2000).
Growing up, you picked up the wounding message that „your needs and preferences don´t matter. Your opinion and feelings are of less importance than those of others.“ (Cron & Stabili, 2016)
You were constantly being overlooked; such is often the case for middle
children.
You may also have been raised in an environment where your needs were often not met due to your caretakers` sickness, poverty, or circumstances that forced you to forget your needs and wants.
You came to believe that the world will not value your efforts, so why try? Better stay comfortable, avoid conflict and keep the peace.
Being a Peacemaker you have many strengths. But your constant need for peace has also its dark side which can negatively affect your relationships.