As a Type 2 in the Essential Enneagram, a Giver, you are a nurturing person, concerned with the wellbeing of others and sensitive to people´s needs. You are quick to sense the emotional needs of others and you do what pleases them.
You feel good about being able to meet others` needs so well. You strive for maintaining others` acceptance and approval. You´re an extremely supportive partner.
It is often thought that Givers just give in order to get and underneath are very needy. But the reality is Givers often give generously and only appear extra-needy because they repress so much needs and desire, making them appear extra thirsty and needy.
Because you tend to focus more on others than you do on yourself, you need someone who can remind you that you matter too. As someone who feels insecure about other people not listening to you as much as you might listen to them, you also need someone who will reassure you that you´re interesting.
In love, your partner can support you by appreciating your independent self instead of being seduced by or dependent on the help you give. He needs to pay attention to your real needs and ask about them.
He can also support you by reinforcing you for saying „No“ when appropriate. You will feel loved and valued when he expresses appreciation for your giving.
You are likely to get attracted to Type 8 personality, the Leader. A leader is someone who´s direct and in-charge. He meets challenges head-on, and he´s unafraid of being honest, even when it´s difficult. He will be your protector.
However, as you search for your life partner, remember that „the success of a relationship relies more on both partners` level of self-awareness and their ability to love and accept love through their specific love language“.
Therefore, type compatibility is more about having similar levels of self awareness than it is about personality type.
From the almost two-thousand women who took my What Type of Girlfriend Are You Quiz, 32% of them are Givers. That means that of all nine personality types in the Enneagram, as my data indicates, Type 2 Giver has the most number of women. More than twice the second most-numbered personality type, the Romantic.
This figure gave me a huge epiphany, mybiggest aha moment! That´s why many women are abused and used because the majority of women are Givers. Most women have a gift of giving.
What shaped your desire to give?
Each of us developed one of the nine patterns to protect a specific aspect of the self that was threatened as our personality was developing (Daniels & Price, 2000).
When you were a child, the way your parents or caretakers raised you influenced the development of your need to give.
As a child you had an irresistible urge to please everyone. You were usually sociable and had close friendships. You were always ready to give your favorite toy or your snacks in order to be liked.
Growing up, your parents or caretakers sent you the wounding message that „it´s not okay to have your own needs and wants“ and that „expressing them will lead to humiliation and rejection“.
Thus, you learned early that in order to be loved you need to forget your own needs and wants while meeting the needs and wants of others.
Being a Giver you have many strengths. But your gift of giving has also its dark side which can negatively affect your relationships.