As a type 5 in the Essential Enneagram, an Observer, you are a skilled analytical thinker with above-average thirst for knowledge and an introverted disposition. Only 4% of the female population are Observers, so you´re one-of-a-kind.
It takes you a lot of time to put your thoughts and ideas out into the world, and you take time to learn everything there is to know about the subject before you take action.
You are never bored alone because you have an active mental life. It´s important for you to protect your time and energy and, hence, to live a simple, uncomplicated life and be as self-sufficient as possible.
Your greatest strengths are your being knowledgeable, thoughtful, calmness in crisis, and dependability.
In love, you need someone who won´t try to force you to go out to places you hate — crowded parties, loud environments, or basically anything requiring a lot of social interaction.
You need your partner to respect your privacy and space. To make clear distinctions between requests and demands. To provide moderate feedback about his own feelings and concerns. And to encourage you to be self-disclosing and to express your feelings in the here and now.
You are likely to get attracted to Type 1 personality, the Perfectionist. A Perfectionist is idealistic, self-reliant, industrious and has integrity. He is always concerned for improvement. He puts forth a lot of effort and is a keeper of high standards. He is highly responsible.
However, as you search for your life partner, remember that „the success of a relationship relies more on both partners` level of self-awareness and their ability to love and accept love through their specific love language“.
Therefore, type compatibility is more about having similar levels of self awareness than it is about personality type.
From the almost two-thousand women who took my What Type of Girlfriend Are You Quiz, 6% of them are Observers. It´s the third least-numbered personality type in the Enneagram, next to the Leader and the Perfectionist, at least according to my data.
Observers are known for being smart. They have excessive desire „to acquire knowledge, information, ideas, conceptual model, expertise, interesting facts and understanding for how things work“. (Cron & Stabili, 2016)
This debunks the myth that women can´t be as cerebral as men. There may not be plenty of women who can, but at least 6% of them certainly can. I would make a wild guess that NASA Mathematician Katherine Johnson was an Observer.
What shaped your excessive desire for knowledge and expertise?
Each of us developed one of the nine patterns in the Enneagram to protect a specific aspect of the self that was threatened as our personality was developing (Daniels & Price, 2000).
When you were a child, the way your parents or caretakers raised you influenced the development of your need to acquire knowledge. It was your way to retreat.
The environment you grew up with didn´t make you feel comfortable – either because your parents or caretakers were too intrusive or engulfing, or they lacked affection and failed to develop deep, meaningful relationship with you.
So you became sensitive and quiet, a voracious reader, a computer whiz, or a collector of things. You felt safe in your cave.
Being an Observer you have many strengths – mostly intellectual strengths. But your need to hide and cave in has its dark side which can negatively affect your relationships.